(Lord, It’s Hard To Be Happy When You’re Not) Using The Metric System

Twelve inches per foot, two pints in a quart
Why don't we make it easy?
The English system of measurement must be laid to history
We can use units of ten and convert with ease
Like all the other Countries
I am in command
Yes, I am taking a stand
From this disease we must be free

(Good God!)

You are drunk with your tradition
That has no validity
Well, I'm intoxicated with sports and metrics
Come drink a decaliter with me
We want metrics, we want it now
We know we can win
I weigh 170 pounds, that's 90 kilograms
See, metrics can even make you thin

(Yardsticks are pathetic)

All cool things are in metrics
For example, here's just one
"I got my nine"
Well, that's nine millimeters
Sounds cooler than, "My point three-something inches gun"
The powerful if nonexistent "they"
Will call me communist, they'll call me scum
But it's worth it, Canadians will think we're smart
At least they'll think we are not as dumb

You're drunk with your tradition
That has no validity
Well, I'm intoxicated with sports and metrics
Come drink a decaliter with me
We want metrics, we want it now
We know we can win
I weigh 170 pounds, that's 90 kilograms
See, metrics can even make you thin

The revolution's here
We must overcome at last
As we symbolically stick their fucking foot up their fucking ass

Guitar!

[Guitar solo]

You are drunk with your tradition
That has no validity
Well, I'm intoxicated with sports and metrics
Come drink a decaliter with me
We want metrics, we want it now
We know we can win
I weigh 170 pounds, that's 90 kilograms
See, metrics can even make me thin