Waffle Church

[Preacher]
So, I said, "Lord... I am thankful for You."

[The crowd says "Amen" and "Amen, boy" and claps vigorously.]

[Preacher]
Speaking of gratitude, I went to the Waffle House the other day...

[Crowd Member 1]
Woo! Waffle House!

[Preacher]
Yep! And I had a realization.

[Crowd Member 1]
Waffles!

[Preacher]
(smacks lips)
I had a realization that God's Blessings could be found everywhere. Even on a plate!

[Crowd Member 1]
What kin- What kinda waffles did you get?!

[Crowd Member 2]
Yeah, did you get the Chocolate Chip?!

[Crowd Member 3]
I like to put peanut butter on my waffles.

[Preacher]
Yeah, no, I just got the regular ones. Just the plain old-

[Crowd boos]

[Preacher]
Okay, but that's not really my point! My point is that, uh, Grace can be found anywhere!

[Crowd Member 1]
What kinda syrup'd ya usе?!

[Crowd Member 2]
Did you use proper pouring techniquе?!

[Crowd Member 3]
Forty-five degrees is best.

[Crowd Member 2]
That seems to be the general consensus!

[Preacher]
Okay, I feel like we all need to focus-

[Crowd Member 4]
Was the waffle fluffy or crispy?

[Preacher]
Oh, Lord, help me...

[God]
'Sup? It's God. Here I am.

[The Preacher and the crowd exclaim with praises of joy]

[God]
So, guys, ground rules for this church: Uh, only speak of holy things in this church, as it is a church.

[Preacher]
Thank you.

[God]
And, uh, speaking of "holey" things, how big were the holes in your waffles?

[Preacher]
You have got to be KIDDING ME!

[God]
C'mon, man, I died for your sins.

[Radio static]