[Preacher]
So, I said, "Lord... I am thankful for You."
[The crowd says "Amen" and "Amen, boy" and claps vigorously.]
[Preacher]
Speaking of gratitude, I went to the Waffle House the other day...
[Crowd Member 1]
Woo! Waffle House!
[Preacher]
Yep! And I had a realization.
[Crowd Member 1]
Waffles!
[Preacher]
(smacks lips)
I had a realization that God's Blessings could be found everywhere. Even on a plate!
[Crowd Member 1]
What kin- What kinda waffles did you get?!
[Crowd Member 2]
Yeah, did you get the Chocolate Chip?!
[Crowd Member 3]
I like to put peanut butter on my waffles.
[Preacher]
Yeah, no, I just got the regular ones. Just the plain old-
[Crowd boos]
[Preacher]
Okay, but that's not really my point! My point is that, uh, Grace can be found anywhere!
[Crowd Member 1]
What kinda syrup'd ya usе?!
[Crowd Member 2]
Did you use proper pouring techniquе?!
[Crowd Member 3]
Forty-five degrees is best.
[Crowd Member 2]
That seems to be the general consensus!
[Preacher]
Okay, I feel like we all need to focus-
[Crowd Member 4]
Was the waffle fluffy or crispy?
[Preacher]
Oh, Lord, help me...
[God]
'Sup? It's God. Here I am.
[The Preacher and the crowd exclaim with praises of joy]
[God]
So, guys, ground rules for this church: Uh, only speak of holy things in this church, as it is a church.
[Preacher]
Thank you.
[God]
And, uh, speaking of "holey" things, how big were the holes in your waffles?
[Preacher]
You have got to be KIDDING ME!
[God]
C'mon, man, I died for your sins.
[Radio static]
Waffle Church was written by Daniel Thrasher.
Waffle Church was produced by Daniel Thrasher.
Daniel Thrasher released Waffle Church on Tue Feb 26 2019.