Morning Show Birthday Prank

[Organ Riff]

[Zany Dane]
Welcome back to The Morning Show, I'm Zany Dane here with Ballsy Brian, and on this segment, we're gonna be doing a little prank show.

[DJ]
P-p-p-p-prank show!

[Zany Dane]
For you folks tuning in, Brian, you wanna talk a little bit about what's going on?

[Ballsy Brian]
Yeah, sure, so basically, we're calling people and congratulating them on their birthday today-

[Zany Dane]
Ha ha!

[Ballsy Brian]
-even though it's not--

[Zany Dane]
Nope!

[Ballsy Brian]
--their birthday!

[Zany Dane]
And we're gonna be telling them that they've just won an awesome prize of some kind if they just agree to say the words "It's my birthday!"

[Ballsy Brian]
And then we're gonna call them out for bеing the money-hungry, blood-sucking, parasitic liars that they truly arе!

[Zany Dane]
That they truly are, yeah, let's have some fun! [snickers as dial tone starts]

[Matthew]
Hello?

[Zany Dane]
Hi, is this Matthew?

[Matthew]
Yeah.

[Zany Dane]
Hey there, it's Zany Dane and Ballsy Brian, you're on 98.7 BALZ. Hundreds of thousands of people are currently tuning in. We heard it was your birthday today?

[Matthew]
Oh, cool, I love you guys- wait, what?

[Ballsy Brian]
Happy birthday, Matthew!

[Zany Dane]
Happy birthday!

[Matthew]
...Uh, thanks, yeah!

[Zany Dane]
So, Matthew, we've heard that you just got laid off from work because of downsizing, is that correct?

[Matthew]
Yes, that is true, unfortunately. It's been really tough on me and the kids, uh, we've got another baby on the way and...

[Ballsy Brian]
Woof, that sounds like a rough time!

[Matthew]
Yeah, it's been a struggle.

[Zany Dane]
So, anyway, since it's your birthday and all, we've decided to give you a gift. Brian?

[Ballsy Brian]
Drumroll, please.

[Drumroll]

[Ballsy Brian]
Everyone here at BALZ have pulled together enough funds to cover your rent for the next six months!

[angelic music]

[Matthew]
What?! Seriously?!

[Zany Dane]
Yes, Matthew!!

[Matthew]
Oh, man, you guys, this seriously means a lot!! It's been so hard, you don't understand!

[Zany Dane]
All you've gotta do for us is say "I'm the birthday boy."

[Matthew]
W- what?

[Zany Dane]
That all you gotta do. Just speak clearly into your phone and say "I'm the birthday boy."

[Matthew]
But I- Is this- Is this live?

[Zany Dane]
People are listening internationally, Matthew.

[Matthew]
I'm the birthday boy?

[Ballsy Brian over Zany Dane]
I can't believe you just sat there and lied to everybody on national radio! This is the absolute worst look for you right now! You should feel embarrassed and you bring shame on everyone who's ever met you and you-!

[Zany Dane over Ballsy Brian]
We know it's not your frickin' birthday, you frickin' liar! How are you just gonna lie to hundreds and thousands of people?! How frickin' simple can you be?! Why would you lie to so many people like that?!

[Matthew over both of them]
I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I thought there was a mistake and I- I just didn't wanna say anything, I didn't mean it! Oh, no, I'm done-!