​thinkng abt a lot of stuff...

still not seeing someone else
still think about you, oh well
god i hope you're doing well
i'm sure as hell, not
lying still in bed for hours
my mood has become so sour
cynical but to a fault
and it's all my fault

so much i can't undo
i was so bad to you
i made mistakes i hope your heart can heal
moving on is so rough
how long will be enough
time flies by but i'm still right here

with my thoughts
i forgot
how not to rely on someone else
if i ev
really knew
how to just be happy by myself

pondering the time we spent
wondering just where you went
back into your different world
or somewhere else?
didn't think it'd end so strange
our friendship won't be the same
will you ever look at me
or just leave me be?

i don't know what i need
but it's not your empathy
still feels like a dream
what will ease my mind?
i'm unhappy all the time
i can't let my heart unwind

with my thoughts
i forgot
how not to rely on someone else
if i ev
really knew
how to just be happy by myself

after all
this time of running away
from whats
inside oh i am afraid

that deep down there's nothing there
it's all a guise, it's only lies
i'm hollowed out, from all that ain't fair
made of trauma and plastic smiles

with my thoughts
i forgot
how not to rely on someone else
if i ev
really knew
how to just be happy by myself