The True Story Of Triforce Mike

I knew a guy named Triforce Mike and every time I was in his line of sight
He would say “hello” and touch my balls
This is a very true story and I considered calling the cops
Homeslice loved to touch me there and I would beg him to knock it off

He touched my balls a lot, He touched my balls a lot
And he would grab my sack down at A Comic Shop
He touched my balls a lot, He touched my balls a lot
Mike would touch my balls every chance he got

He threw up at one of my shows and it cleared the floor
But when he got it all out, well then he got right back up and started dancin’ up a storm
This is a very true story, one that I’m kind of embarrassed to tell
But what can I say? He was all about my testicular shell

He touched my balls a lot, He touched my balls a lot
And he would grab my sack down at A Comic Shop
He touched my balls a lot, He touched my balls a lot
Mike would touch my balls every chance he got

No head play, no shaft play, it was ball-thirty
All horse play, no foreplay, if he touched your balls you gotta sing this with me
He touched my balls a lot, He touched my balls a lot
And he would grab my sack down at A Comic Shop
He touched my balls a lot, He touched my balls a lot
Mike would touch my balls every chance he got