The Doctor

(The shabby office of a local DOCTOR.)

[DOCTOR]
I am Dr. Roquefort
Doing my best to earn my keep
Thanks to dubious dealings during the war
I'm illegal
And that's why I'm cheap

(DUSOLEIL enters the DOCTOR's office... through the wall.)

[DOCTOR]
God!
A patient!

[DUSOLEIL]
You're surprised seeing a patient walk through a wall?

[DOCTOR]
No
The surprise is seeing a patient at all!

[DUSOLEIL]
What is happening to me?
What is happening to me?

[DOCTOR]
Go and stand over there
Raise your arm in the air
God, it's trembling like mine!
Mind you, mine's due to wine
Stand up straight, count to four

[DUSOLEIL]
One, two, three-

[DOCTOR]
That's great
Now lie down on the floor
That's surprising, 'cause you
Should be falling right through
And it's odd that you'rе not
But it's clear what you've got
So I'll briefly tеll you what's what

You've got
Proto-para-psycho-neuro-glandular-depressive-schizoform-espresso-semi-dormant-pathological-repressed-transmural syndrome
And I know what to do

(Handing him a bottle of pills)

Take a couple of these
They should cure your disease
They should harden your blood and your sinew
But if you continue to suffer, then
Come and visit me, please??
I can also prescribe
Something you can imbibe
Anybody who drinks
Saves a fortune on shrinks
When I'm treating the blues
I use what we doctors call
Booze

You've got a case of

[DOCTOR AND DUSOLEIL]
Proto-para-psycho-neuro-glandular-depressive-schizoform-espresso-semi-dormant-pathological-repressed-transmural syndrome

[DOCTOR]
I've got a case
Of wine!

Should a headache ensue
Drink a liter - or two!
After that, you'll feel fine