Office Life

(Paris. Montmartre. Just after the second world war

The Ministry of Post. DUSOLEIL, a minor civil servant, types while his four colleagues sing:)

[EMPLOYEES]
Oh, life is thoroughly delightful
Stuck in the office all day long

[BERTRAND AND CHARLES]
You might expect it to be frightful

[CLAIRE AND MADELEINE]
But, on the whole, you would be wrong

[EMPLOYEES]
Oh, what a lovely sense of freedom

[BERTRAND]
Hundreds of letters flooding in

[BERTRAND AND CHARLES]
Nobody ever gets to read'em
They go directly in the bin

[EMPLOYEES]
Yes, in the bin

So, life is marvelously simple
No intervention from the boss

[CLAIRE]
Am I dеveloping a pimple?

[BERTRAND]
I'm stuck on 25 across!

[EMPLOYEES]
That's what we do, and who can blamе us?
That's how we make it through the day
Still, someone manages to shame us
Who's always scribbling away?
It's Dusoleil!

[CLAIRE AND MADELEINE]
While we're relaxing, what does he do?

[BERTRAND AND CHARLES]
Works through his lunch break and his tea

[CLAIRE AND BERTRAND]
He's doing twice as much as we do

[EMPLOYEES]
Boy, he's a busy little bee!

[BERTRAND AND CHARLES]
Oh, it is clear

[EMPLOYEES]
That we dislike him
Strangely, he never says a word

[CLAIRE AND MADELEINE]
Difficult not to want to strike him

[BERTRAND AND CHARLES]
Well, what the hell
He's just a nerd!

[EMPLOYEES]
The office nerd!

[DUSOLEIL]
(typing)
"Dear Mama, it's been ages since I dropped a line to you
I wrote to you on Wednesday, and I know today is Friday
But the office has been crazy with a thousand things to do
So everything's been busy
And my head is going dizzy
I'm as jumpy as a monkey in a zoo

But though it's nearly five o'clock, and I have found the time to write to you
It's really yours sincerely who's been doing all the work
As usual, the others have been driving me berserk
By shirking
Not working
Their dedication's minimal, they're criminally slow
And counting off the minutes til it's time for them to go."

[BERTRAND]
It's two minutes to five!

[DUSOLEIL]
"The reason it's so busy here is simple to relate
You know Monsieur Lacrosse?
The man who's always been the boss
Well, he is leaving here today
As he is over sixty-eight
He's like a mad professor
And I'm hoping his successor
Is a little more severe and less sedate

And apropos the other questions that you asked about my life
Yes, my cat is doing fine, and no, I haven't found a wife
You ask me if I'm seeing someone - in a sense I am
I'm gazing
In wonder
At someone unattainable whom I don't even know
I've seen her in the square, but never dare to say hello
With filial devotion, your son, Marcel Dusoleil
Dated 1950 on the 25th of May."