The Advocate’s Plea

(In the court.)

[PRESIDENT]
Monsieur
Will you speak for the defense?

[ADVOCATE]
Monsieur le President
Monsieur Dusoleil
It's with diffidence
I rise today
And very nervously
'Cause the fact is
This is my first time
In the world of crime
So today is a big day for me

Now, I should be cool
And I should be calm
But I'm wobbly as
A potted palm
As you can probably see
'Cause I've never been in court before
And I'm thirty-four
So today is a big day for me

Yesterday, at last, at last
I passed
Passed
The bar exam
Here I finally am
Timid as a lamb
And I'm sweating and I'm scared
The fitting word is merde
I'm feeling rather unprepared

So I'm not much use
As a barrister
And I couldn't feel
Embarrassed-er
I'm sweating like
A pig in a wig

So kindly hear my plea
Set my client free!

'Cause today is a big day for me!