Tempus Fugitive

[Professor Elemental - spoken]
"Trousers! Set coordinates to lock on to Geoffrey!
Code 3-1-9
Password: G-I-D-D-A-U-N-T
Set chronal pockets and launch hence!"

[Trousers - spoken]
"Coordinates set, Professor. And might I say, it's a pleasure  to have you wearing me."

[Professor Elemental - spoken]
"yes"

[Verse 1]
Have you seen my ape?
You see, he's my mate!
He's a lost primate
Need him to make tea and to clean my plate

Companion and Butler
Practically brothers
Siamese double act - attached to each other
He took my trousers an album ago
He knows he's not allowed, so how did he go?
And when has he gone to, how can I find him?
I need a machine with perfect timing
Harness a Tardis for my Prototype
And then disappear that's my showman-side

[Trousers - spoken]
"Warning: Trousers malfunction! Warning: Trousers Malfunction. Resetting Time Period to 1989-1994-1643-9999999-"

[Chorus]
Switch on devices and take a breath
Come take a look at my time travel trousers
Won't rest 'till Geoffrey's safe in bed
Come take a look at my Time Travel Trousers
Professor Elemental on an apish quest
Come take a look at my Time Travel Trousers
Lost in Time, I might make a mess
Come take a look at my Time Travel Trousers

[Verse 2]
Ipswich, we have a problem
My chrono pockets are wet and sodden
Lots of important dials are cracked
The clock's running backwards
I'm a high wire act
With no net and no wire
My hem is on fire
I really should've checked
Damn, where are my pliers

I'm stretching into a vortex
There's several parallel professors and they're similarly vexxed
It seems I'm a victim of a time travel saboteur
At least I'm comfortable aligning the rabbit fur
The outside is tough
Both legs are made with a fabric that should save me from chronal displacement
Fazing in stasis, not leaving a trace
Recalibrate rhyme-scheme, and beaming to place
Quantumleap, timequake, breath in and wait until the timestream
Cause I need my ape

[Chorus]
Switch on devices and take a breath
Wome take a look at my time travel trousers
Don't rest 'till Geoffrey's safe in bed
Come take a look at my Time Travel Trousers
Professor Elemental on an apish quest
Come take a look at my Time Travel Trousers
Lost in Time, I might make a mess
Come take a look at my Time Travel Trousers