Sonic Boom the Musical

You're in my clutches!
Fallen prey, it would seem
To my maniacal mind
And diabolical scheme!

Shall I fry you in magma?
Or impale you with spikes?
All my things... take your rings!
I've got things you won't like!

Like a big laser that's powered by crystals!
A tool that burns with the heat of the sun!
And if I aim at your toes, I'll likely BURN OFF YOUR NOSE!
And everyone knows that using lasers is fun!

Dr. Eggman, I'm not certain
But you may not be aware
That your laser's self destruction function's
Button is right... THERE

I don't follow
Shouldn't it be harder to get to?
But then I can't reach it! Look, you're all missing the point!
Which is?

I don't need to use my laser
Cause I have a giant BOMB!
Which will cover this whole planet
In a toxic green napalm!

And this bomb's armed with a timer-
Why not set it off right now?
Well, I... I don't know how...
Seriously?

Every bomb you've ever crafted
Has a flimsy metal plate
And inside it are the wires
Meant to help recallibrate

Well, I guess that's true, they often do...
But what's this all about?
Don't you think those crucial wires
Could be easily torn out?

...no. That plate requires a hex wrench to take off!
Or a FIST
But toxic bombs are nothing compared to my TRUE master plan!
Do tell...

I can climb inside a robot
One that's footsteps shake the ground!
And which has no major defects
And/or weak points to be found...

It shoots missiles from its fingers!
And its arm becomes an axe!
And it follows simple patterns
For its movements and attacks

FINE! My evil plans and wicked schemes
May seem a bit underwhelming...
But the greatest weapon that I have's
This DEATH EGG THAT I'M HELMING!

...this thing's a piece of junk
Hey!
And it also smells like an evil armpit...
See? The jungle badger finds it intimidating...
Oh... I forgot to mention: I deactivated your weapons systems earlier...
HUH?!
I also found a copy of your Death Egg schematics and uploaded them to Spinterest
YOU WHAT?!
Yeah, your WIFI's completely unprotected. Oh, hey-- three Respins!
No way... I can't believe this...
Yeah. Also, this thing's about 20,000 miles overdue for an oil change
Never trust auto mechanics!

Well, I didn't want to do this
But you've finally forced my hand!
Now I'll show you all the evilist thing
That I have ever planned!

It took countless days and endless nights
But I thought it ironic
That the Badnik who would end you all
Would be named... wait for it... METAL SONIC!

What did you do with my robot?
I don't know. What does he look like?
Blue, Metal, Your height-
Oh, and dashingly attractive? Yeah, I bumped into him
And where is he now?
Well, PART of him went out the window, and the OTHER PART got caught in a trash compactor
Agh! WHAT NOW?!
FOG HORNS...
Huh... sounds like you've got an engine problem!
Oil changes, man
NO, NO, NO!!!
He's breaking it more...

Why's this always happen?!
Every time, in every game!
When I think I've beaten Sonic
He defeats me all the same!

And No matter what my tactic
Not a plan or strategy
Will ever yield a single triumph
Or one victory...

Tough luck, EggNoodle
Maybe if you let us out, Tails can fix your engine
I can do that from in here, actually
SHHH
I suppose I have no choice but to set you free... Then again...

Could it be this situation
Is a lucky twist of fate?
Sonic's trapped inside a cell
From which he can't evacuate!

And it's true, my Death Egg's falling
But my Egg Pod's parked nearby!
I can make it to it safely
And leave Sonic here to die!

Then I'll watch from out the window
As my Death Egg hits the ground!
And I'll cup my ear and then I'll hear
The sweetest of all sounds!

It's the sound of my redemption!
In the form of Sonic's doom!
For I'm finally killing Sonic
In a fiery Sonic boom!