Medics Don’t Heal Scouts

SCOUT:
Hey Medic! Don't go!
Please, my health bar's pretty low!

MEDIC:
Look, the Heavy needs my help!
I'm a busy man, you know!

SCOUT:
Come on, show me some compassion!
Forget the status quo!

MEDIC:
Sorry, Medics… don't heal Scouts!

SCOUT:
Hey, c’mon, Doc, I’m dying’ here!

MEDIC:
Clearly…

SCOUT:
Wait, Doc, I'm in pain!
Any moment, I'll be slain!
There's a bullet in my chest-

MEDIC:
And a screw loose in your brain…

SCOUT:
Oh, the lights are fading quickly~

MEDIC:
This is only just a sprain
That's why Medics… don't heal Scouts!

SCOUT:
"Uh, I also got stabbed in the ankle-"

MEDIC:
"Go find a Health Kit."

SCOUT:
I'm begging on my knees here
Cause it hurts too much to stand!
I'm the fastest friggin' member of your team!

MEDIC:
“True, but-"

You're also pretty puny
With the IQ of a crayon
And you have the most unhealthy self esteem!

SCOUT:
"That's not true! I think I'm AWESOME!"

Doc, give me one chance!
Yes, I know your friggin' stance!
But my heart's starting to fail me
And I think I crapped my pants-
You can stitch me, saw me, sew me-
Embed friggin' dove implants-

MEDIC:
"…deal!"

SCOUT:
"Really?"

MEDIC:
“Yes, but just this once, though, because-"

BOTH:
Medics… don't heal Scouts!

SPY:
"True, but I'm no Scout."