Shaving Cream

One, two, three; one, two...

A demented song I will song you
A classic of poetry and wit
Last night when I walked into my bathroom
I stepped in a big pile of

Shaving cream, be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look keen

Last Monday we went to the playground
To try out my new catcher's mitt
I asked you to throw me a fastball
But you threw me a big lump of

Shaving cream, be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look keen

When I was in France with the army
One day I looked into my kit
I thought I would find me a sandwich
But the darn thing was all full of

Shaving cream, be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look keen

I once sang this song in Seattle
I thought that my act was a hit
But when I got through with my number
Well, down came a shower of

Shaving cream, be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look keen
Shaving cream, be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look keen

Last Saturday I went out jogging (huff, puff)
I like to keep physically fit
But when I took off my Adidas
The soles were all covered with

Shaving cream, be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look keen

Our baby fell out of the window (waaah!)
You'd think that her head would be split (ouch!)
But good luck was with her that morning
'Cause she landed in six feet of

Shaving cream, be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look keen

Here we are in this fancy, French restaurant
I hate to be picking a nit
But waiter, I ordered creme vichyssoise
And you brought me a bowl full of

Shaving cream, be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look keen

When broadcasting over the radio
There are certain words we must omit
Like *beep*, and *buzz*, and *gobble gobble*
By gosh, we can't even say

Shaving cream, be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look keen

And now folks, my song, it is ended
I think it is time I should quit
If any of you feel offended
Stick your head in a bucket of

Shaving cream, be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look keen

Don't forget to STAY DEMENTED!