Pay Attention!

[BARB]
Please, do try and pay attention, Mega
I've slaved away all night and day
Preparing this presentation
To do the deed, I think you'll need these-cutting edge creations
So, please pay attention for these inventions might mean your salvation
I'll guide you through

[CURT]
Hey, what's this do?

[BARB]
I need a vacation

First on the list is a clever twist
On a watch, but made greater
With the flick of the wrist, you get the gist
This watch becomes a laser

And look my dear, with this pen here
See anything out of place?

[CURT, spoken]
No

[BARB]
Well, press this here and pull this here;
It sprays acid in your face!

[CURT, spoken]
Cool!

[BARB]
Careful, Mega
And I think you could use these pair of shoes
They just might save your life
Just click your heels and you'll reveal

[CURT, spoken]
Aah!

[BARB]
A knife!
And what you need-o to succeed-o
Is this new tuxedo

[CURT, spoken]
No!

[BARB]
It's water-proof, it's fire-proof
It even improves libido!

[CURT, spoken]
Really?

[BARB, spoken]
No!

(sung) I do what I do
So you can do what you do
And while you're saving the world
Who do you think will be saving you? Oo-ooh?

Oh, you think I'm crazy
But based on what I see
You must pay attention, attention
To meeee!

Next we have a product that
Demands all of your focus
This stick of gum, when chewed, becomes
A dangerous explosive

Or what passes as some glasses
Also takes a picture
Or what passes as a flask
Is actually holding liquor!

[CURT, spoken]
I'm off it

[BARB]
Here we have a simple thing

[CURT, spoken]
How do you work this part?

[BARB]
Squeeze the ring; release the spring
Pew! A poison dart!

This hearing aid

[CURT]
What did you say?

[BARB]
With this, you won't hear better
Just listen and you'll know it when

[CURT, spoken]
What? I'm paying attention! Urgh!

[BARB, spoken]
Yes! It's a lie detector!

[BARB/SCIENTISTS]
We do what we do
So you can do what you do
And while you're saving the world
Who do you think will be saving you? Oo-ooh?
We won't make a big fuss
But you know you need us
So please pay attention, attention
To us!

(Instrumental)

[BARB, spoken]
Go on then, Mega. Choose something!

[CURT, spoken]
What's that cane?

[BARB, spoken]
It's actually a gun

[CURT, spoken]
And that umbrella?

[BARB, spoken]
As a matter of fact, a gun!

[CURT, spoken]
Candle stick?

[BARB, spoken]
It's a gun!

[CURT, spoken]
Coffee cup?

[BARB, spoken]
It's a gun!

[CURT, spoken]
Apple?

[BARB, spoken]
Gun!

[CURT, spoken]
Paper clip?

[BARB, spoken]
Gun!

[CURT, spoken]
Razor and shaving cream
I know what it is, it's a gun

[BARB, spoken]
No, Daniel Boone! It's to shave that awful beard! You look homeless

[CURT, spoken]
Hey, this is a great beard! …Right?

[BARB/SCIENTISTS]
We do what we do so you can do what you do

[BARB]
And while you're saving the world

[SCIENTISTS]
Saving the world, saving the world

[BARB/SCIENTISTS]
Who do you think will be shaving you?

[BARB]
While you're saving the world

[BARB/SCIENTISTS]
We'll be saving

[SCIENTISTS]
You-ooh

[BARB]
Please pay attention, attention

[BARB/SCIENTISTS]
We'll be saving you!