Never Imagined

Verse 1
Sometimes I feel like giving up, these tears ain't worth crying
Feels like I haven't lived, past few years I've spent dying
I can't help not trying, my energy's gone
I've suffered so long, I can't carry on
My heart still aches from this space that's empty
I've felt like this since the day you left me
I think about the hugs, the kisses and the fights
The times I kept you waiting, all those lonely nights
I would stay out chilling, nеver giving a fuck
Kept you worried sick, spеnt the whole night up
Then I used to get mad when you came home drunk
I was selfish and stupid, just a 15 year-old punk
Didn't realize how bad this was affecting you
You needed care and attention but I was neglecting you
Should've seen it before, now I lost it all
Cause I'll never get you back, God, I've lost it all

Hook 2x
Never imagined I'd be completely destroyed
Remembering the nights we utterly enjoyed
When will the wounds heal reminding pain's real
Guess I gotta wait till we meet at the gates

Verse 2
I know you're watching me, at times I feel your essence
It keeps me content though I yearn for your presence
Cause I think about life and how you won't be there
For the advice and direction, all the talks we'd share
My first day of college or a summer at the fair
Walks on the ave feeling fresh spring air
It just kills me inside and makes me wonder
If you're still in the skies when the rain brings thunder
Meaning will you be with me then like you're with me now?
Cause I'll need help with answers if I ask you how
I know you're my protection, know I'm your devotion
But how do I escape this feeling or erosion
Haven't been fully happy since the day you deceased
And I can't say much cause I'll never find peace
Not without you, you're a being like no other
I should've listened close when you said I'd get one mother

Hook 2x
Never imagined I'd be completely destroyed
Remembering the nights we utterly enjoyed
When will the wounds heal reminding pain's real
Guess I gotta wait till we meet at the gates

Verse 3
I still think how ironic everything went
The last talk we had, the postcard you sent
Told me we'd reunite, that it would happen real soon
And it broke my heart what I heard that afternoon
Was told to sit down, Maria had breaking news
"Your mom passed away 2:30 this afternoon"
Cracked up with laughter, didn't believe it at first
Brother's eyes were bloodshot, what I received was worse
Cause I didn't get to say goodbye, kiss you or nothing
Wanted to cry, scream and die all at one time
Thought that was bad, I got worse at the wake
I felt all this pressure, thought my shoulders would break
But I had to carry on and accept that you were gone
I held my head up cause you know I was born strong
I believe in your soul mom and eternal love
I just can't wait to see you, hold it down up above

Hook 2x
Never imagined I'd be completely destroyed
Remembering the nights we utterly enjoyed
When will the wounds heal reminding pain's real
Guess I gotta wait till we meet at the gates