My Staple Diet Of Rice, Vitamins, & Painkillers

I’ve been dreaming about unlocked doors
I try to stop the handle every time it moves
It’s always me that’s on the other side
And I’m never doing so well

I’ve been waking up in panic every two hours
Then getting up to turn the extractor fan on
It’s the only thing that I can do to stop replaying all the shit you said
That sounded way too familiar

You said that life stopped being fun last year
And now you’re not convinced that it ever was
You said you’ve lost interest in everything
And that you just can’t pinpoint the cause
I said trust me, I can sympathize
I keep shutting down and I don’t know why
And every time I step out the front door
It seems like it’s always dark outside
It’s always dark outside

I just need 19 pence for Paracetamol and a pound for soluble vitamins
So that I can convince myself I’m alright
You just need as little sleep as I’ve had over the past few weeks to realize that

There's gotta be something more
Than waking up freezing cold
And only thawing out
To go stand in the snow
Trying to ignore
That same sense of dread
Whilst letting smiles from strangers
Cut you to shreds
Then spending nights at home waiting for your family to die
Telling yourself you're sick
Until it’s no longer a lie
Trying not to think about nooses
Trying not to think about chairs
Trying to find time in between
To remind yourself that there’s still a world outside
Even though it's pitch black
And someday winter might end
Someday summer might come back
And even though we're cursed, for better or worse
Someday this will all be over