A Month Of Nosebleeds

4 weeks of epistaxis
The perfect combination of anxiety and dry air
Or maybe something worse?
Either way I'll just ignore it like I did 3 years ago
I watched the rain for 2 hours this morning
Watched the sky turn from black to dark grey just like I used to
While you were fast asleep

For 2 weeks you woke up in tears and said you couldn’t work out why
And for some reason it’s bothering me more and more as the years go by
I know that I’m to blame, but I swear I didn’t mean to make you cry
And I know that it was all just such an uphill struggle, until you turned and walked the other way

(And I don’t blame you)

When I got to the top of those stairs
And opened up my eyes I thought that
I could deal with anyone, and I could deal with anything
But after a confused version of the best intentions I just made you feel like shit
And I know that it’s my fault and I’ll have to live with it

Now every now and then I hear the phone ring, but I seldom answer
What would the point be? Only to burden friends and family
With how I’m struggling, and how I’m lonely
And every now and then my ears stop ringing
And I can’t stand the silence
So I turn on the radio and stare out the window
And I try my best to remember the last time I saw leaves on those trees

I've given up on stopping all these nosebleeds
Just let the blood run and hope that I become so light headed that I pass out