Magnificent

[Stringer]
Are you sad?
Has life gone bad?
Did you just have a heart attack
Or lose your mum and dad?

Then don’t delay
Book right away
This is the first day
Of your perfect holiday

[All]
It’s a hotel
Where you’ll never see a cloud
Where skies of grey
Are simply not allowed

At the Hotel Magnificent
Throw away your cares
Run from all your problems
Pretend that they’re not there

[Stringer]
Here's Denise:
She's making up
Your king-size feather bed
[Denise]
It's like waking up in Heaven
But no one here is dead
[Stringer]
Here's our chef
[Chef Chevalier]
My crème brûlée will make you feel alive
[Stringer]
And Kevin the bellboy
Is popular with wives

[All]
It's a hotel where
We help to make you whole
[Stringer]
Fill the howling void
Of your dark and lonely soul

[All]
At the Hotel Magnificent
Throw away your cares
Run from all your problems
Pretend that they’re not there

[Stringer]
Are you stressed?
[All]
Magnificent
[Stringer]
Badly dressed?
[All]
Magnificent
[Stringer]
No joie de vivre?
[All]
Magnificent
[Stringer]
Been dumped by Steve?
[All]
Magnificent
[Stringer]
Got no chums?
[All]
Magnificent
[Stringer]
Kicked in the plums?
[All]
Magnificent
[Stringer]
Receding hair?
[All]
Magnificent
[Stringer]
Post-natal tear?
[All]
Magnificent

[Stringer]
We know that
[All]
Life is cruel
And you will die alone
Come and let us soothe
Your weary bag of bones

At the Hotel Magnificent
Where everything is quite magnificent
Most magnificently most magnificent
The only thing that's missing
The only thing that's missing
The only thing that's missing
Is
You!