Luke’s Desk

[Verse 1]
Very few have climbed great mountains
Very few have reached the moon
Discoveries in space, on land and sea
But fewer still have plucked the courage
To face the dangerous unknown
Beneath the desk of Luke in Year 3

[Verse 2]
Came the day when Luke declared
"I cannot find my book, you see
I've searched my desk, of that you can be certain"
So says the teacher, "I will check"
And Luke says to himself "Oh heck!
This time I know he'll really chuck a burton"

[Chorus]
The teacher found six pairs of scissors and half a pack of fizzers
Eighty-nine rubber bands, a little pot of glue
A pick-a-path storybook about a secret mystery chook
Half a devon sanga from 1982
He found a bottle full of aftershave (a present that his mother gave)
A soccer ball, a footy ball, a fibreglass canoe
A video, a stereo, a bottle full of Juicy-O
Half a pound of sausages to make an Irish stew
And all of this is true
Phew!

[Verse 3]
Now all this came as some surprise
The class could not believe their eyes
The teacher stood with eyes and mouth wide open
Then at last the teacher cried
"I'll have another look inside"
And soon again in Luke's desk he was gropin'

[Chorus]
And he found a pack of mouldy bubble gum, half a tin of doggy chum
Seven dozen rulers and some ham-and-chicken spread
A book some astronauts, stuff you put on plantar warts
An angy brontosaurus and a soggy water bed
A mandolin, a violin, a little tin to put them in
Seven tubs of margarine, eleven loaves of bread
A kangaroo, a cockatoo, a jackaroo from Channel Two
A band-aid from the time he cut his finger and it bled
"What a mess!"
The teacher said

[Verse 4]
Now when the book could not be found
The teacher looked upon the mound
Of all the junk that he had just uncovered
He said to Luke "Go take a look
Upon my desk, that little book
May be there and be finally discovered"

So Luke walked over to the teacher's desk, and he found...

[Chorus]
Twenty pencil packets and some winter wooly jackets
Eighty-seven plastic bags, a photo of a chook
A box of apples, big and green, a drawing of a thing he'd seen
The other teacher's garbage bin he accidentally took
A tennis racquet, hockey stick, rake, a shovel, and a pick
A pawn, a knight, a king, a queen, a bishop, and a rook
Dirty clothes, a picture frame, some undies with his mother's name
And underneath it all Luke got his hands upon his book!

[Outro]
Next time, that's where he'll look. It's crook