​iLost My Jobs

I heard
Steve Jobs got some
AIDS and died, and he
Left behind billions of
Dave Matthews fans

I heard
Good ol' Steve
Joined the flowers, grass and trees
Well thats according to them gay hippies!
He was actually fed to Bill Gates to eat!

And I broke
Down and cried and I
Prayed to God, "Jesus
Will you get us by
Til they drop the iPhone Dildo 5?"

And the turtleneck that your wore with such pride
Made me think you prolly sleep with guys
And I heard that you're an adopted Arab
Go tell Uncle Osama I said hi...

No one's life touched more
Hipster white Jews...
Drinking Starbucks
Listening
To U2
I know your somewhere
Out there
Wearing some sandals
Made from hemp
Some Apple users are gay
But most of them are bi...
Some Apple users are gay
But most of them blow guys

When I go the Apple store
I ask for somethin' I can use for e-mail and porn
And some faggot talks me into gettin' something more
And my farm got nowhere I could plug in the cord!

And I end up leaving there with two iPads
And a 2 year Genius blow job plan
And a T-shirt that says 'Obama Fan'
And a coupon for transgender pants

And I'll be taking me a shit on my own front porch
And I get a call on my iPod
And they say
"This is Mr. Macintosh
And you agreed to suck my balls
I'm coming over now to touch your cock!"

No one touched more bi-
-sexual white Jews
Blocks of faggots waiting for
IPad 2
When I turn on my PC
ITunes keeps reminding me
That there's a new version of
Their service now for free

If Stevie was here
We'd have us some beer
And talk bout the times that we had
And Bill would come too
He looks like a Jew
My grandpa is also my dad

No one's life meant more
To hipster white jews
Driving hybrids
Knitting belts
And shoes
Groom your mustache, you fags
Come around me and I'll beat your ass
Some Apple users eat sushi with soy milk and those are the facts

No one touched more bi-
-sexual white Jews
Drinking lattes
Sending cash
To Darfur
And if Steve Jobs is in Hell
He probably gotta use the computers he sells
Some Apple users like blowing each other
While using a Mac
Some Apple users are gay
But none of them are black

Now what you wanna do right now
In honor of Steve Jobs' life
Please let's all buy this song on iTunes
It's the way Steve would have wanted it
You're my boy, Blue!