I Saw Mommy Wiping Santa’s Bum

Grandpa dressed as Santa every year when I was young
He'd say "ho, ho, ho" and dance around, it was so much fun
He kept dressing as Santa, even as his health declined
Then one Christmas Eve, I woke up to find
Mommy wiping Santa's poopy behind

Oh, Grandpa, Grandpa, Grandpa, you shouldn't dress as Santa
When you're sitting on the toilet, unless you want to spoil it
I'm talking about the spirit of Christmas for your grandson
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
I saw Mommy wiping Santa's bum

Poor, poor Mom, she barely ever made ends meet
She worked so hard just to buy food for us to eat
'Cause my dad, he died when I was young, she had to do it alone
She couldn't even afford to send Grandpa to a nursing home

As Grandpa aged, he began to lose mobility
Soon after that, he also lost his ability
To reach around and wipe his bum, so he had to rely on his daughter
To wipe it clean and drop the poopy paper in the toilet water

Oh, Grandpa, Grandpa, Grandpa, you shouldn't dress as Santa
When you're sitting on the toilet, unless you want to spoil it
I'm talking about the spirit of Christmas for your grandson
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
I saw Mommy wiping Santa's bum

Ever since that day, I have been a-wishin'
That Mommy hadn't bothered with that Christmas tradition
Of dressing up Grandpa in that Santa suit
Sure, we all thought that it was cute
But that was before I saw him in it as Mommy wiped his poop

Oh, Grandpa, Grandpa, Grandpa, you shouldn't dress as Santa
When you're sitting on the toilet, unless you want to spoil it
I'm talking about the spirit of Christmas for your grandson
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
I saw Mommy wiping Santa's bum