I Don’t Let My Band Members Sing

I don’t let my band members sing
I don’t let my band members write
I don’t let my band members take any credit
Because I’m so greedy and uptight

I don’t give them the share of the profits
I don’t let them have any say
I just hog away all the credit
And I don’t give them their share of the pay

Because I’m cheap
And I’m selfish
And I do all the vocals by myself
All they do is stand back and make my music for me
While my album’s making money on the shelf
I don’t give the band any credit
But I make them do all the work
All I have to do is write this stuff on paper
I don’t give them credit, 'cause I’m a jerk

Whenever we are live and we’re on stage
My band’s in the back against a wall
Aside from that, they’re hidden by a curtain
So they can only be seen if the curtain falls

And if by any chance this album sells well
I’ll just take all the money for my own
And since I have them doing this at gunpoint
They can’t just take off and go home

They can’t quit
And they can’t leave here
And if they do, they can’t run very far
Because there is obstacle waiting out there for them
They won’t get past the minefield in the yard
I even sing over the solo
'Cause I like the sound of my voice
Too bad, 'cause it’s a pretty decent solo
But it’s not like the band had a choice

Being the band leader is a great thing
I don’t have to play an instrument
I’ll just stand on stage and look all pretty
(Maybe we should--) SHUT UP! YOU’RE THE GUITARIST YOU DON’T GET TO TALK!!!
Kyle, you will do what I tell you
All your talents mean nothing to me
I am the deserver of the glory
I make the decisions, you see

Kyle: THAT'S IT! I quit!