Get A Real Dog

I come to your house and I knock on your door
That's when I hear a sound that I've never heard before
It's whimpering and growling like it thinks that it's a threat
But it's just a fucking wiener dog, your stupid little pet
I'm trying to get in, it tries to keep me out
Demonic Yoko Ono noises coming from its mouth
I'd like to chain it to the wall and give its nuts a flog
Why don't you get a clue, and get a real dog?

I fight my way inside, now it's yipping even more
Its excrement is everywhere, it's tiling the floor
It bites my ankle, humps my leg and pisses on my shoe
You smile and say "How cute, I think he likes you!"
I can't take it no more, I kick it and I scream
There's anger in my eyes and canine semen on my jeans
I'd like to violate its anus with a yule log
Throw out that cocktail wiener, and get a real dog!

Get a real dog!
Get a real dog!
Get a real dog!
Get a real dog!!
Get a real dog!