Every Man out of His Humour Act 4. Scene 5

A ROOM IN DELIRO'S HOUSE

ENTER FUNGOSO IN A NEW SUIT, FOLLOWED BY HIS TAILOR, SHOEMAKER, AND
HABERDASHER.

Fung.
Gramercy, good shoemaker, I'll put to strings myself..
[EXIT SHOEMAKER.] — Now, sir, let me see, what must you have for this hat?

Habe.
Here's the bill, sir.

Fung.
How does it become me, well?

Tai.
Excellent, sir, as ever you had any hat in your life.

Fung.
Nay, you'll say so all.

Habe.
In faith, sir, the hat's as good as any man in this town can serve
you, and will maintain fashion as long; never trust me for a groat else.

Fung.
Does it apply well to my suit?

Tai.
Exceeding well, sir.

Fung.
How lik'st thou my suit, haberdasher?

Habe.
By my troth, sir, 'tis very rarely well made; I never saw a suit sit
better, I can tell on.

Tai.
Nay, we have no art to please our friends, we!

Fung.
Here, haberdasher, tell this same.
[GIVES HIM MONEY.

Habe.
Good faith, sir, it makes you have an excellent body.

Fung.
Nay, believe me, I think I have as good a body in clothes as another.

Tai.
You lack points to bring your apparel together, sir.

Fung.
I'll have points anon. How now! Is't right?

Habe.
Faith, sir, 'tis too little' but upon farther hopes — Good morrow
to you, sir.

[EXIT.

Fung.
Farewell, good haberdasher. Well now, master Snip, let me see your bill.

Mit.
Me thinks he discharges his followers too thick.

Cor.
O, therein he saucily imitates some great man. I warrant you, though he turns off them, he keeps this tailor, in place of a page, to follow him still.

Fung.
This bill is very reasonable, in faith: hark you, master Snip —
Troth, sir, I am not altogether so well furnished at this present, as I
could wish I were; but — if you'll do me the favour to take part in hand, you shall have all I have, by this hand.

Tai.
Sir —

Fung.
And but give me credit for the rest, till the beginning of the next
term.

Tai.
O lord, sir —

Fung.
'Fore God, and by this light, I'll pay you to the utmost, and
acknowledge myself very deeply engaged to you by the courtesy.

Tai.
Why, how much have you there, sir?

Fung.
Marry, I have here four angels, and fifteen shillings of white
money: it's all I have, as I hope to be blest

Tai.
You will not fail me at the next term with the rest?

Fung.
No, an I do, pray heaven I be hang'd. Let me never breathe again
upon this mortal stage, as the philosopher calls it! By this air, and as I am a gentleman, I'll hold.

Cor.
He were an iron-hearted fellow, in my judgment, that would not credit him upon this volley of oaths.

Tai.
Well, sir, I'll not stick with any gentleman for a trifle: you know
what 'tis remains?

Fung.
Ay, sir, and I give you thanks in good faith. O fate, how happy I
am made in this good fortune! Well, now I'll go seek out monsieur Brisk. 'Ods so, I have forgot riband for my shoes, and points. 'Slid, what luck's this! how shall I do? Master Snip, pray let me reduct some two or three shillings for points and ribands: as I am an honest man, I have utterly disfurnished myself, in the default of memory; pray let me be beholding to you; it shall come home in the bill, believe me.

Tai.
Faith, sir, I can hardly depart with ready money; but I'll take up,
and send you some by my boy presently. What coloured riband would you have?

Fung.
What you shall think meet in your judgment, sir, to my suit.

Tai.
Well, I'll send you some presently.

Fung.
And points too, sir?

Tai.
And points too, sir.

Fung.
Good lord, how shall I study to deserve this kindness of you sir!
Pray let your youth make haste, for I should have done a business an hour since, that I doubt I shall come too late.

[EXIT TAILOR.]

Now, in good faith, I am exceeding proud of my suit.

Cor.
Do you observe the plunges that this poor gallant is put to, signior,
to purchase the fashion?

Mit.
Ay, and to be still a fashion behind with the world, that's the sport.