End of the World

[Intro]
(Thank you)

[Verse 1]
Well, I was flipping through the channels on my TV set last night
And then I came across this TV preacher guy
And he was talking about some profecies
And I think I heard him say
That tomorrow was the end of the world

[Verse 2]
So then I went into my kitchen and I reached for that top shelf
And I grabbed the finnest whiskey I could find
'Cause there's no need to save the finer things for later anymore
Since tomorrow is the end of the world

[Verse 3]
And then I got into my car and I drove down to a street corner
And I asked some dude where I could score some blow
Then I went up to the prettiest hooker I could find
And asked if I could do a line of coke off her vagina

[Verse 4]
Well, much to my surprise, she said she didn't have a vagina
And much to my surprise I didn't care
'Cause there's no need for you to not be getting transexual hookers anymore
Since tomorrow is the end of the world

[Verse 5]
So have a smoke, shoot some smack, kick a little kid in the face
Steal somebody's groceries
'Cause there's no need to not be a grocerie-stealing-little-kid-in-the-face-kicking-smacking-shooting-smoking-tranny-hooker-getting-whatever-the-fuck-else-I-said guy anymore
Since tomorrow is the end of the world

[Verse 6]
When I woke up this morning I took a look around
And of course I saw that everything was fine
But I'm still gonna call and thank that televangelist preacher dude
Because I had myself a fuckin' good time

(Thanks, that's a true story)