Intro/ Sneeze/ Mozart

[Intro]
Thank you
Uhm, I've always liked to say that music is sort of like my drug, you know?
I know for a lot of you guys out there nowadays, especially younger people
It's crystal meth or, like, crack, or whatever, smack, and, uh
And don't get me wrong, I do all that shit also
I just think that music's, uh, a good thing to do
While you're smoking crack, I guess, and, uh

[Sneeze]
I- I wanna- I- I've always had the worst luck when it comes to girls and this is a true story
Uh, one time I was at the bank and there was a girl in front of me in line
And I had to sneeze, and I didn't wanna, like, sneeze all over her
So I tried to hold it in and
I don't know if you guys ever had this happen when you tried to hold in a sneezе
But somehow I wanna make in the sneezе noise
But at the last minute, like, the sneeze part backed out
So I was behind her, and just kind of made a noise like this
Where I was just sort of, like, y'know?
Like...
Like that, you know? It would've been better if I just sneezed, right?
'Cause that's not a sound that you wanna hear the guy making behind you when you're at the bank and shit, so, uh
So nothing ever really happened with her, or whatever, but, uh
But I wanna do a song for you now that, uhm
It's a brand new song, I, uhm

[Mozart]
(Sorry, this is the right)
You know, Mozart, actually, the composer
Once said that the two most beautiful sounds in the world
Were the sound of a musician tuning his instrument
And the smack of a hand across a girl's asscheeck and
I don't know if it's true or not but-
Okay
I feel like his words are just as true now as they were probably back in his time, but...