Duet with Bono

[Intro]
Pick up Bono! Pick up!
Sorry, Bono, is not here right now
Please leave a message after the tone

[Verse 1]
I can't believe you didn’t show
I writ me letter ages ago
I used joined up writing and even bought the stamp
Look at me now, I look a total plank
Oh, Bono, why didn't you show?
You know I used to look up to you so
Was it because you thought I'd out-sing ya?
If ya want, I’ll even ring ya

[Chorus]
Bono!
Oh Bono!
Bono!
Why didn't ya show?
Don't ya know?
I need ya so

Message 409

[Verse 2]
I know you're busy, helping the poor
Getting rid of world debt and trying to end war
But what about poor old me?
I had to team with Geldof and work at RTÉ
It's all right for you with your cutie of a mot
But it's about time you havе another turkey a shot
Are ya jеalous of me looks and me beautiful beak?
Or have you just realised that you're past your peak?

[Chorus]
Bono!
Oh Bono!
Bono!
Why didn't ya show?
Don’t ya know?
I need ya so

Message 3,049

[Verse 3]
Ah yeah you’ve dined with Mandela, Clinton and Brian Cowen
And you sung with Mick Jagger and Paul McCartney
And Pavarotti and Sinatra and B B King
Yeah, you said you'd sing with me when you got your OBE
From the queen
Bono, your time’s running out
I'm not gonna wait much longer
Bono, please do a duet with me
Is it because you want to save the planet?
For god's sake son you've even sung with Clannad
A bunch of boggers who could do with a wash
Next you’ll try and get Shane MacGowan to floss
We could've recorded but you never came
Out in the 'Briggan where the streets have no name

And tears to their eyes

[Chorus]
Bono!
Oh Bono!
Bono!
Why didn't ya show?
Don't ya know?
I need ya so