Don’t Be a Lawyer

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast & Burl Moseley * Track #6 On Crazy Ex-Girlfriend: Original Television Soundtrack (Season 4)

Download "Don’t Be a Lawyer"

Album Crazy Ex-Girlfriend: Original Television Soundtrack (Season 4)

ALBUM

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast

2019

Don't Be a Lawyer by Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast (Ft. Burl Moseley & Clark Moore)

Release Date

Thu Oct 25 2018

Performed by

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend CastBurl Moseley

About

Jim (Burl Moseley) finally gets a solo number as he counsels a pre-law student (Clark Moore) not to go into the legal profession in this song heavily reminiscent of early 1990s new jack swing acts like Bell Biv DeVoe and New Edition.

Don’t Be a Lawyer Lyrics

[JIM]
Twenty years old, pretty smart kid
Didn't know what I wanted to do
So I took the LSAT
And then just like that
Got accepted at Glendale U

Everyone said it was a real safe bet
A prestigious and lucrative vocation
So I set out on a journey
To become an attorney
Without a moment's hesitation

But here's some free advice I'm givin'
When it comes to decidin' what to do for a livin'

Don't be a lawyer!
Don't do it!
Quickest way to ruin your life
Don't be a lawyer!
Not worth it!
It'll leave you dead inside

The job is inherently crappy
That's why you've never met a lawyer who's happy
It's a guaranteed soul destroyer
Don't be a lawyer

Law school debt
Daily regret
Is that what you dreamed of as a kid?
Or did you hope one day
That you'd find a way
To spend four years workin' on a pharmaceutical company's merger with another pharmaceutical company?

Your only expertise
Is runnin' up fees
Speakin' legalese like a dick
But it's not too late
To avoid this fate
Find any other job to pick

Sure, your parents might think you're a failure
But no one's ever said, "First, let's kill all the tailors."

Don't be a lawyer!
I'm serious, it really, really sucks
Don't be a lawyer!
No one you work with looks like Ally McBeal

There are so many other professions
That don't turn you into Jeff Sessions
Just say no to the lawyer employer
No, don't be a lawyer

[AJ]
What about human rights law?

[JIM]
No money, no, no money

[AJ]
Environmental law?

[JIM]
No money, even less money

[AJ]
Immigration law?

[JIM]
No money, plus it's a bummer

[AJ]
Okay, but what if one day you make it to the Supreme Court?

[JIM]
It'd be great to be on the Supreme Court
But you'll never be on the Supreme Court
There's truly no chance of that happenin'

[LAWYER, spoken]
The preceding song in no way reflects the views of CBS and the CW network
Ah, screw it

[JIM, sung]
See? Don't be a lawyer!

Don’t Be a Lawyer Q&A

Who wrote Don’t Be a Lawyer's ?

Don’t Be a Lawyer was written by Adam Schlesinger & Jack Dolgen & Rachel Bloom.