Dissociate

I get caught up in dreaming when a demon’s got my throat
She’s choking me out, I feel like I’m about to float
Sometimes I awaken and forget it all again
It’s like this dream amnesia wants to be my only friend

I wake up in the morning when it’s six o’clock at night
I don’t do anything, I have no freeze or fight or flight
‘Cause usually instead, I’m just floating off in space
But without a suit of oxygen or mask upon my face

‘Cause I dissociate, and stare into a mirror
And I masturbate until the image isn’t clear
And I just take several minutes to stare into a wall
But when I come to, it’s been three days after fucking all
‘Cause I dissociate

And when my mama called me, I didn’t grab the phone
And when she called again, and four more times, I didn’t grab the phone
And only on the sixth time, when I snapped out of my trance
She’d already called the cops, they burst in, and I didn’t even glance

They sent me to a hospital to see what they could do
They said, “Get medication, and living alone just wouldn’t do”
So now I live with Daddy, and I just lay in a bed
As I watch myself just lay there, fucked out of my head

‘Cause I dissociate, and stare into a mirror
And I masturbate until the image isn’t clear
And I just take several minutes to stare into a wall
But when I come to, it’s been three days after fucking all
‘Cause I dissociate, I got everybody questioning
Blame opiates, at least that’s what they’ve been reckoning
I live inside the dead zone inside of my own mind
Between God and family, friends and foes, the barrier is mine
‘Cause I dissociate

‘Cause I dissociate, and stare into a mirror
And I masturbate until the image isn’t clear
And I just take several minutes to stare into a wall
But when I come to, it’s been three days after fucking all
‘Cause I dissociate, I got everybody questioning
Blame opiates, at least that’s what they’ve been reckoning
I live inside the dead zone inside of my own mind
Between God and family, friends and foes, the barrier is mine
‘Cause I dissociate