Diane Works For Ozzy

She was born in the Pembroke Pines
But there's been a shift in the paradigm
She could open a mayonnaise jar with just a single point
Or she can evaporate it, if she gets annoyed
And her friends don’t understand the way she be
Because her fingers can shoot out laser beams

Well, I don't know how it started but it happened one day
She was making pictures on MS-Paint
Her mom came in and said "when ya gonna do the dishes, Diane?"
She pointed and exploded their whole damn flat
So now when she gets an itch she scratches it more carefully
Because her fingers can shoot out laser beams

How does it happen? I already told you how it starts
Now what will happen? I can't tell you that
I’m just Marc With a C, man
I'm not that smart!

But she went on TV with David Letterman
She blew up the studio audience
Then she went to a rock show and did the metal salute
And she produced some pyro that blew off the roof
And that's how she got the job working for Ozzy
Because her fingers can shoot out laser beams

Now she's all rockin'
‘Cause we all know that laser beams rock
Rockin' with Dokken
If you need a light, her fingers can give you a spark

Well, she comes out for the encore which is "Iron Man"
She lights up the room like no machine can
Well, she ain't all that pretty but don't tell her that
‘Cause she will blow your ass up right where you stand
Her folks don’t understand the way she be
‘Cause her fingers can shoot out laser beams