Being A Geek

[RABBI, chanting]
Koh-amar ha’El adoshem…

[EVAN, spoken]
Oh, perfect!

[RABBI, chanting]
What now, Evan?

[EVAN, spoken]
I can fix this!

[RABBI, chanting]
But how, Evan?

[EVAN, spoken]
I’m not gonna be an outcast! I’m gonna be friends with every single one of those guys and that’s the end of the story!

[RABBI, chanting]
Why is it so important to be popular?

[EVAN, spoken]
What are you, kidding?

[RABBI, chanting]
What would be so bad if you weren’t popular?

[EVAN, spoken]
Oh, Rabbi, you don’t know what you’re talking about

[RABBI, chanting]
Tell me how it is
Tell us how it feels

[EVAN]
Being a geek is the loneliest thing in the world
I gotta tell you, Rabbi
When you're a geek, it's the loneliest thing in the world
You're always wondering what everybody's laughing about
And staring in at the world like you got locked out
Nothing is worse
It's a crime, it's a curse
It's the loneliest thing in the world

(spoken)
You wouldn’t understand, Rabbi

[RABBI, spoken]
Oh, I know something about it. I’m a rabbi in Indiana

[EVAN]
Being a geek is the sorriest state ever known
I know what I’m talkin’ about
And being a geek doesn’t go once you’re gone or you’re grown

[RABBIS]
Tell me about it, brother

[EVAN]
The girls all roll their eyes and walk away when you get close
You've got a fatal disease no one can diagnose
It's contagious, it's viral
It's a downward spiral
The loneliest thing in the world

But when you're cool
When you're cool, you've always got a crowd
You can break the rules 'cause you're allowed
You can sway the gang in any direction –
You've got a high-speed connection

When you're cool
You're the epitome of charm and grace
When you wanna get to second base
If you're cool, you know you've got a shot
But oh!
If you're not –

It's a waste, it's a drag
It's "suck" in a bag
It's the loneliest thing in the world

[EVAN]
Oh, yeah

It's like a cold wind blowing, yeah

If you like the wrong movies
If you like the wrong bands
If you take the wrong classes
Don't speak!

If it's Saturday night
And you don't have any plans
'Cause you spent the past week
Learning Greek –

If you're very well-acquainted
With the locker room toilet
'Cause your head's been shoved inside it
Just squeak:

If you start to get excited
'Cause you're
Gonna throw a party
But the people you've invited
All shriek –

"You freak!"

You're not unique!

It's just the life of the geek!

But when you're cool
You can rally when the blues attack
Ev'ry problem just rolls off your back
You can handle ev'ry slip and slide
Without breaking your stride!
When you're cool
You don't care that people disappear
You don't care that your Dad's not here
You don't care that your life's been uprooted and bent
Without your consent!

A geek's afraid it's never gonna be okay
But the cool kid knows it doesn't matter anyway

It's the difference between
Being fine at thirteen
And the loneliest thing...
I said, the loneliest thing...
I know it's the loneliest thing
In the world

[RABBI]
Keep trying, Evan

You can do it, Evan

Be a man, Evan
[RABBIS]
Geek, geek
Geek, geek
Geek, geek
Whoa-oh

Geek, geek
Geek, geek
Geek, geek
Whoa-oh

You're a geek!

You're a geek!

Geek, geek
Geek, geek
Geek, geek

"I'm a geek!"

Geek, geek
Geek
Geek
Geek, geek

Geek!

Geek!

Geek!

When you're cool
Oh, oh
When you're cool
Oh, oh
When you're cool
Oh, oh
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh
When you're cool
Oh, oh
When you're cool
Oh, oh
Whoa-oh...

Geek, geek
Geek, geek
Geek, geek
Geek, geek
Geek, geek
Geek, geek
Geek, geek
Geek, geek
Hmm...