Any Minute

[BRETT]
Someone got his eyelids torn off
And I'm sitting here
And I should be doing something

That guy got an axe in his throat
And she’s sitting there
And I don’t know why I'm waiting
But oh, any minute
I'll be getting closer
I'll be where I want to be…
Any minute

[KENDRA]
Someone got his face chopped in half
And he's sitting there
Maybe he doesn't want me
Maybe it was something I said
Or maybe my breath
Why did I eat those pork rinds?
'Cause oh, any minute
He could turn and kiss me
And we'll be where we ought to be…
Any minute

[KIDS]
Whoa!

[KIDS laugh]

Eww!
[MALCOLM, spoken]
Brett… Pssst – How’s it going?

[EDDIE, spoken]
Back off, you can't rush “the tongue.”

[BRETT]
She just set his penis on fire

What do I do?

This is so not romantic

[KENDRA]
This is weird

Oh my God!
[PATRICE]
And oh, any minute
He’ll do something for me
Did he just invite me
So he could ignore me?
He won’t even know I’m gone…

[BRETT]
Any minute

Any moment

If I want it

If I close my eyes!

Any minute

Any moment

Any time!

[KENDRA]
Any minute

Any moment

If I want it
If I close my eyes!

Any minute

Any moment
Any time!
[BRETT]
No more time to sit on my butt
Time to move in
Time to get started

[ARCHIE, spoken]
This is it, Archie!

[BRETT]
After all, tonight is the Tongue
And after the Tongue
There will be groping!

[ARCHIE, spoken]
Okay!

[BRETT & ARCHIE]
And so, watch out, Kendra!
Now, watch out, women!
Now! Now! Now!