Because The Internet: A Futile Life (Alternate Ending Submission)

Tires SCREECH outside. Dude 2 stands up. There's a small crash outside

Yelling

VOICE:
FREEZE!

GUNSHOTS

The Boy and Dude 2 look at each other

Dude 1 kicks open the door. He starts firing. Dude 2 falls. A mist of red puff spurts from his chest. He's screaming. The gunfire tapers off

Dude 1 walks up to Dude 2, extends his arm, aims the gun at his head and unflinchingly PULLS the trigger. The screaming stops. Dude 1's head turns to stare at the boy

The boy's eyes meet Dude 1's from the couch. He's confused, but calmly understands and accepts that he may be next

Dude 1 walks up to The Boy and stands in front of him

Dude 1:
You and you're small-time friends are like gnats, you know. There's millions of you fuckers and no matter how many I manage to kill, ten more pop up out of nowhere

Dude 1 extends his arm without hesitation and aims the gun at The Boy's chest

Millions of you fuckers...

The Boy:
Wait... you can kill me if you want. I get it. But can I have my phone back first?

Dude 1 PULLS the trigger. POP!.... He pulls it again. POP!... And Again. POP!

He reaches into his pocket and carelessly tosses the phone onto The Boy's stomach as he turns to walk away. Blood begins to pool. The Boy can hear muffled voices arguing with each other outside of the door, but his senses are fading quickly

He slowly picks up the phone. A metallic taste begins to consume his mouth and his vision blurs. His fingers clumsily fumble through the phone's menus until they reach the camera function. The only sound he can hear now is the drum-like pounding of his own heartbeat. He holds the phone directly in front of himself to take a selfie. He doesn't smile. He doesn't make any horribly cliche or terribly embarrassing poses. No duck face. No crazy angles. No vanity. Just a massive amount of blood, a camera and a blank face. His blank face. He doesn't care about the blood. Nobody would care about the blood later so why should he care about it now?

The Boy posts the photo on twitter, lays back against the couch, closes his eyes and begins LOL-ing inside of his head. The room is SILENT. A moment later, his grip ceases and the phone falls to the floor. We see its screen:

@thegoldmolar: *Photo of himself in a pool of his own blood on the couch*

It's captioned: Roscoe's Wetsuit, everybody [SMILEY FACE WITH A HALO EMOJI]

*******[PLAY SONG "LIFE: THE BIGGEST TROLL" AT THIS POINT]*******