Bartholomew Fayre Act 5. Scene 6

To them, Quarlous, (like the Madman) Purecraft, (a while
after) John: To them Trouble-all, Ursla, Nightin-
gale.

Quar.
Nay, come Mistris Bride; you must do as
I do, now. You must be mad with me, in truth.
I have here Justice Overdoo for it.

Jus.
Peace, good Trouble-all; come hither, and you
shall trouble none. I will take the charge of you, and
your Friend too; you also, young Man shall be my care,
stand there.

[To the Cut-purse, and Mistris Little-wit.

Edg.
Now, mercy upon me.

Kno.
Would we were away, VVhit, these are dange-
rous Vapours, best fall off with our Birds for fear o' the
Cage.

[The rest are stealing away.

Jus.
Stay, is not my name your terror?

VVhi.
Yesh faith Man, and it ish for tat we would
be gone Man.

Joh.
O Gentlemen! did you not see a Wife of mine?
I ha' lost my little Wife, as I shall be trusted: my little
pretty VVin. I left her at the great Woman's House in
trust yonder, the Pig-womans, with Captain Jordan,
and Captain VVhit, very good Men, and I cannot hear
of her. Poor Fool, I fear she's stepp'd aside. Mother,
did you not see VVin?

Jus.
If this Grave Matron by your Mother, Sir,
stand by her, Et digito, compesce labellum, I may perhaps
Spring a Wife for you, anon. Brother Bartholmew, I
am sadly sorry, to see you so lightly given, and such a
Disciple of enormity, with your grave Governour Hum-
phrey: but stand you both there, in the middle Place; I
will reprehend you in your Course. Mistris Grace, let
me rescue you out of the hands of the stranger.

VVin-w.
Pardon me, Sir, I am a Kinsman of hers.

Jus.
Are you so? of what name, Sir?

Win-w.
Winwife, Sir.

Jus.
Master VVinwife? I hope you have won no Wife
of her, Sir. If you have, I will examine the possibili-
ty of it, at fit leisure. Now, to my Enormities: look
upon me, O London! and see me, O Smithfield! The ex-
ample of Justice, and Mirror of Magistrates: the true top
of Formality, and scourge of Enormity. Hearken un-
to my labours, and but observe my discoveries; and com-
pare Hercules with me, if thou dar'st, of old; or Co-
lumbus, Magellan, or our Country-man Drake of later
times: stand forth you VVeeds of Enormity, and spread.
To Busy,
To Lantern,
To the Horse-
Courser, and Cut-purse.
Then Captain Whit, and Mistris Littlewit.
First Rabby Busy, thou superlunatical Hypo-
crite, next, thou other Extremity, thou
profane Professor of Puppetry, little better
than Poetry: then thou strong Debaucher
and Seducer of Youth; witness this easie
and honest young Man: now thou Esquire
of Dames, Madams, and Twelve-penny La-
dies: now my green Madam her self, of
the price. Let me unmask your Ladiship.

Joh.
O my VVife, my VVife, my VVife!

Jus.
Is she your VVife? Redde te Harpocartem!

Tro.
By your leave, stand by my Masters, be unco-
ver'd.

[Enter Trouble-all.

Urs.
O stay him, stay him, help to cry, Nightingale;
my Pan, my Pan.

Jus.
What's the matter?

Nig.
He has stoln Gammer Ursla's Pan.

Tro.
Yes, and I fear no Man but Justice Overdoo.

Jus.
Ursla? where is she? O the Sow of Enormity,
this! welcome, stand you there; you, Songster, there.

[To Ursla and Nightingale.

Vrs.
An' please your Worship, I am in no fault: A
Gentleman stripp'd him in my Booth, and borrow'd his
Gown, and his Hat; and he ran away with my Goods
here for it.

Jus.
Then this is the true Mad-man, and you are the
Enormity!

[To Quarlous.

Qua.
You are i' the right, I am mad, but from the
Gown outward.

Jus.
Stand you there.

Qua.
Where you please, Sir.

Over.
O lend me a Bason, I am sick, I am sick;
where's Mr. Over-doo? Bridget, call hither my Adam.

[Mistris Over-doo is sick, and her Husband is silenc'd.

Jus.
How?

Whi.
Dy very own Wife, i' fait, worshipful Adam.

Over.
Will not my Adam come at me? shall I see
him no more then?

Qua.
Sir, why do you not go on with the Enormity?
are you opprest with it? I'll help you: Hark you, Sir,
i' your Ear, your Innocent Young Man, you have tane such
care of all this day, is a Cut-purse; that hath got all your
Brother Cokes his things, and help'd you to your beating,
and the Stocks; if you have a mind to hang him now,
and shew him your Magistrates Wit, you may: but I
should think it were better recovering the Goods, and to
save your Estimation in him. I thank you, Sir, for the
Gift of your Ward, Mrs. Grace: Look you, here is your
Hand and Seal, by the way. Mr. Win-wife give you
Joy, you are Palemon, you are possest o' the Gentlewo-
man, but she must pay me value, here's Warrant for it.

To the Widow.

And, honest mad man, there's thy Gown and
Cap again; I thank thee for my Wife. Nay,
I can be mad, Sweet Heart, when I please
still; never fear me: And careful Numps,
where's he? I thank him for my Licence.

[Waspe misseth the Licence.

VVas.
How!

Qua.
'Tis true, Numps.

VVas.
I'll be hang'd then.

Qua.
Look i' your Box, Numps; nay, Sir, stand not
you fixt here, like a Stake in Finsbury, to be shot at, or
the Whipping-post i' the Fair, but get your Wife out o'the
Air, it will make her worse else; and remember you are
but Adam, Flesh and Blood! you have your frailty, for-
get your other Name of Over-doo, and invite us all to
supper. There you and I will compare our Discoveries;
and drown the memory of all Enormity in your bigg'st
Bowl at home.

Cok.
How now, Numps, ha' you lost it? I warrant
'twas when thou wert i' the Stocks: Why dost not
speak?

VVas.
I will never speak while I live again, for ought
I know.

Jus.
Nay, Humphrey, if I be patient, you must be so
too; this pleasant conceited Gentleman hath wrought
upon my Judgment, and prevail'd: I pray you take care
of your sick Friend, Mistris Alice, and my good Friends
all ——

Qua.
And no Enormities.

Jus.
I invite you home with me to my House to sup-
per: I will have none fear to go along, for my intents are
Ad correctionem, non ad destructionem; ad ædificandum, non
ad diruendum: So lead on.

Cok.
Yes, and bring the Actors along, we'll ha' the rest
o' the Play at home.

The E P I L O G U E.

YOur Majesty hath seen the Play, and you
Can best allow it from your Ear and View.
You know the Scope of Writers, and what store
Of Leave is given them, if they take not more,
And turn it into Licence: you can tell,
If we have us'd that Leave you gave us, well:
Or whether we to Rage, or Licence break,
Or be prophane, or make prophane Men speak?
This is your Power to judge (Great Sir) and not
The Envy of a few. Which if we have got,
We value less what their dislike can bring,
If it so happy be t' have pleas'd the King.

T H E     E N D.