Amy, It’s Kevin

So, how'd we get this far apart?
It's only three miles via car
Yet we only talk through voicemail nowadays
But you're screenin' all your calls
And we used to shake the walls
And I miss you at Orlando Magic games

Now you're sleepin' with the door guy

Now let's get it straight
You know I never threw you out
Our kitties say, "Meow"
And why won't you pick up the telephone?
You're not getting these rings back
I had problems with my dad
But I'm getting better with a therapist

While you're sleepin' with the door guy
And some crater face named Duffy stole your heart
But I got a job at Q96
And I'll be beating strippers off with a stick

Yeah
Mmhm
Oh-ho oh-ho

So, now I call you twice a day
Sometimes to just say, "Hey"
I bought you pills at the Orlando Magic games
The cats and I miss you
And when your strippin' days are through
You'll wake up to the truth

But for now just sleep with the door guy
You know, that crater face name Duffy that stole your heart
Cause I got a job at Q96
Soon I'll be be beating strippers off or vice versa

Ah-ha!
And this is the last time I call you
Wait, did she just pick up?
I better call back and check...