After a Year

It's been a year.

I'm not sure what happened.
My memory is hazy
all I know is my music was lazy
I wasted my school time on it,
but I don't regret it.

I'm single again.
A choice I made for my health.
Only the Gods know why I do this to myself.
I know I will be fine.

Two years till I am an adult.
Haven't I always been an adult?
Maybe mentally.
I don't remember being a child.
I blame my parents for that.
But maybe they did it for a reason.

I remember when I realized I was trans.
I was 11. I was watching a show and there was a trans character.
I related to him a lot.
Too much.
I was comfortable.

My father said no.
"You're my little girl, so shut up."
My mother..."My son."
Until my father butted in.
"My daughter".

I've been writing stories in my head.
It's so much easier to imagine me on hills of bright green
with white flowers
with some characters from a book.
But all I have to do is sit up and look
around myself.

I'm alone.
And I'm happier now.