I’m In Love With Everyone I Know

In case there's ever any questions of if I'm nice or if I'm mean
Well, the truth is I'm really a pterodactyl in a human body
Cause otherwise I'd be extinct!
I live on plants and vegetables
I love my girlfriend, and I love the occasional B movie
Now I like From Justin To Kelly, but I hate American Idol
What the hell is wrong with Marc with a C?

I know I'm in love with everyone I know
But I just cut my hair off, so don't you dare call me a hippie
I'm in love with everyone I know
But I can't seem to figure out anything about myself, so what'd I do?

I went out and I took an online personality quiz
Where it turns out I'm Veronica Sawyer from the late eighties movie Heathers
And I don't stand for bullshit conformity
And the quiz said I've got me a wicked thing for Christian Slater
But that's not right, I don't swing that way
I just wasn't cut from that bolt of cloth
Even though I like Pump Up the Volume, I hated his movie Kuffs
You can't even find that movie down at Stardust

But I know I'm in love with everyone I know
Except for Christian Slater, I don't know him, he's exempt
Otherwise, I'm in love with everyone I know
And I can see the good in everyone I've ever met except my dad!

We had a bad relationship
And all the people that cut me off on the way to work
Nobody's perfect, I mean, look at yourself in the mirror
And ask yourself, honestly, "When was the last time I called my mom?"

My mom, my mom got beat up at a monster truck rally
And if I was there, I woulda kicked some ass
Cause for a guy that wears glasses, I can really serve some shit
You'd be surprised!
But afterwards I would've had to tell them

That I'm in love with everyone I know
Even if you go to monster truck rallies, drink Busch beer, and beat up moms!
I'm still in love with everyone I know
And that's just not PC to say in this day and age
If you said "Marc, why are you in love with everyone you know?"
I'd say, "It's cause the Pixies are goin' on tour for the first time in over ten years!"
And that's why I'm in love with everyone I know
And I can see the good in everyone I've ever met, even you!