You Guarantee Fame With Two First Names

[Verse 1]
Some people sleep their way to fame
And some stay celibate
Some try talent, some use luck
Some are picked by fate
People seem to want to know
How to capture fame
I've found the answer, here you go
Just have two first names

[Bridge]
[?]

[Verse 2]
Two first names, you bet your arse
That's the secret key
If you want to take your place
Amongst the world's celebrities
Two first names, you do it now
The deed poll is a factor
Become as worthless to the world
As a model or an actor

[Bridge]
[?]

[Verse 3]
It's good to know that fame don't come
And pick people at random
If celebs aren't worth what they've got
Surely to God we'd can 'em
Though fame's a case of damn hard work
Talent, skill and knowin'
If all of that above don't work
Just change your cognomen

[Chorus]
The answer
Just have two first names
The answer
Just have two first names
The answer
The answer

[Refrain]
John, where he went wrong
John, where he went wrong
John, where he went wrong
John, where he went wrong

[Bridge]
[?]

[Refrain]
John, where he went wrong
John, where he went wrong
John, where he went wrong
John, where he went wrong
John, where he went wrong
John, where he went wrong

[Bridge]
[?]

[Refrain]
John, where he went wrong
John, where he went wrong
John, where he went wrong
John, where he went wrong
John, where he went wrong
John, where he went wrong
John, where he went wrong
John, where he went wrong

[Outro]