Velvet Elvis

I went to a rummage sale
On some old lady's lawn
I got there kinda late
Almost everything she had was gone
I sifted through the rummage
Who knows what luck could bring?
And then I nearly died
Right there on black velvet was the King

I saw that velvet Elvis, and I want it on my wall
It'd be my prized possession, my favorite one of all
People would come from miles around, probably get real jealous
I'd be the first one on my block to have a velvet Elvis

My pulse, it started racing
Sweat poured from my forehead
I must make up my mind
Will I buy it or steal it instead?
I checked my empty pockets
I knew what must be done
I won't leave empty handed
Old ladies aren't too fast when they run

I stole that velvet Elvis, and I put it on my wall
It's my prized possession, my favorite one of all
People come from miles around
Damn, they get so jealous
I'm the first one on my block to have a velvet Elvis

[Spoken]
Man, this is gonna be great. I'm gonna hang it over the TV, right between the lava lamps. And then I'm gonna get some Naugahyde bean bag chairs, put beaded curtains in the doorways, yeah. Then I'm gonna burn the candle to the Sangria bottle and let the wax drip down. It looks real classy. I'll have a party, and I'll invite all my friends