This Meeting Is Bullshit

This meeting is bullshit
I mean, why am I even here?
This ain't even my department
None of this shit affects me
Charles goes on and on about marketing and synergy
Charles always looks like he sat on his own balls
And Diane got promoted, of course
She's such a suck up!
Enjoy that new laptop Diane
I saw your husband at the company picnic
And you got to wake up next to that fucking baboon every day- hang on a second...!
Phew! I thought I forgot to hit mute...

This meeting is bullshit
Just let me get back to Pinterest
I got a sweet board of Doctor Who oven-mitts
And it got about a hundred likes!
And maybe I can quit this job to bе a Pinterest celеbrity!
Do those things even exist? Oh, great, Charles is coughing again...
Lucy, stop iming me, I don't care about your poodle!
IM's are supposed to be work related- but, maybe she's really lonely...
Like, what if she's like Diane?
And she stayed married for the kids?
I should be nicer to Lucy- COME ON LUCY ANOTHER FUCKING PICTURE?!

Ok, fuck this noise! I'm about to put all of these motherfuckers on blast!
I know Charles is drunk again, and I know all about him and Diane!
Well, I wouldn't exactly say she's cheating, but she sure likes those dick pics!
And, uh, I could get Charles fired...
Wait a second, if I got Charles fired, Diane won't know that I did it
And when she becomes the boss, she'll have it out for me...
Or... I could lose my insurance...
And what if I get promoted?
I can't delegate for shit!
I just like doing payroll, keeping my head down and hoping not to be noticed
And if I report Charles to HR, Diane's gonna figure it out
I think I'm the only one she showed the dick pics to while her husband was feeling uploosey
Let me sneak another sip of what appears to be water
If I'm asked, "yup it's water, no you can't smell it."

This meeting is bullshit!
I've been smilin' for about two hours
I've been flicking a moth out of frame
Was this worth all the student loans?
Was this worth getting up at six?
Was this worth missing going out?!
Was this worth-?!

"Oh, thanks
Y-you too
You have a great day as well!
Bye!"