There’s a Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven’t Thought of It Yet - Live at Congress Theater, Chicago, IL, 2008

[Spoken: Ryan Ross, Brendon Urie]
Do you guys like jazz at all?
Well, either way
We do
If you don't
Do you know what jazz hands are?
Yeah, they know, everybody knows that
Okay, good
So listen, on the chorus of this song you're gonna, you're gonna do the jazz hands
But on the verse, I wanna see if you can snap with us, snap along, alright?
Yeah
Just like that
Alright, so, you got this
Snapping on the verse, jazz hands on the chorus
Let's give it a try

[Verse 1]
Please leave all overcoats, canes, and top hats with the doorman
From that moment, you'll be out of place and under-dressed
I'm wrecking this evening alrеady, and loving every minute of it
Ruining this banquеt for the mildly inspiring, and...
Please leave all overcoats, canes, and top hats with the doorman
From that moment, you'll be out of place and under-dressed
I'm wrecking this evening already, and loving every minute of it
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring, and...

[Pre-Chorus]
When you're in black slacks
With accentuating off-white pinstripes, whoa-oh
Everything goes according to plan

[Spoken: Ryan Ross, Jon Walker]
Jazz hands!

[Chorus: Brendon Urie, Brendon Urie & Ryan Ross]
I'm the new cancer, never looked better, you can't stand it
Because you say so under your breath
You're reading lips, "When did he get all confident?"
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
Never looked better and you can't stand it

[Verse 2: Brendon Urie, Ryan Ross]
Next is a trip to the, the ladies' room in vain, and
I bet you just can't keep up with (Keep up!) with these fashionistas
And tonight, tonight, you are, you are a whispering campaign
I bet to them, your name is cheap
I bet to them, you look like sh...
Talk to the mirror, oh, choke back tears
And keep telling yourself that "I'm a diva!"
Oh, and the smokes in that cigarette box on the table
They just so happen to be laced with nitroglycerin

[Spoken: Ryan Ross, Jon Walker]
Jazz hands!

[Chorus: Brendon Urie, Brendon Urie & Ryan Ross]
I'm the new cancer, never looked better, you can't stand it
Because you say so under your breath
You're reading lips, "When did he get all confident?"
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
Never looked better and you can't stand it

[Bridge]
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
I've never looked better and you can't stand it
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
I've never looked better and you can't stand it

[Outro]
And I know, and I know it just doesn't feel like
A night out, with no one sizing you up
I've never been so surreptitious
So, of course, you'll be distracted when I spike the punch
And I know, and I know it just doesn't feel like
A night out, with no one sizing you up
I've never been so surreptitious
So, of course, you'll be distracted when I spike the punch
And I know, and I know it just doesn't feel like
A night out, with no one sizing you up
I've never been so surreptitious
So, of course, you'll be distracted when I spike the punch!