The Ukulele Song (Live)

(spoken)
So this is a little song I wrote.

(sung)
Have you ever noticed
When you're pooped on by a bird
People look right at that turd
And they say the most absurd thing
"It's lucky"
I just think it's yucky

And have you ever noticed
When a pretty girl walks past
Men will look right at her ass
And then shout out something crass
As if she'd ever be that girl
They make her wanna hurl

And oh, people are funny
And oh, people are strange

Have you ever felt
A young man giving you the eye
As you walk on by
You don't even have to try
You've still got it
Turns out he stole your wallet

And have you had the feeling
That you're looking pretty grand
As you walk hand in hand
With your adorable husband
One of those magical nights
Your dress is tucked into your tights

And oh, people are funny
And oh, people are strange

Now, things don't always go
Like we want them to
I kind of like it better that way
Don't you?

Have you ever wanted to do something so darn cool
So that all the kids in school
Will stop saying, "what a fool"
To you daily
So you start playing ukulele

And have you ever tried so hard
To be someone you're not
We do those things a lot
But it's the only life you've got
To be exactly who you are
I think you are a star

And oh, people are funny
And oh, people are brave

Have you ever worked so hard at something so much fun
That you can't believe it's done
You feel like you've just begun
But you don't wanna be a bore
So you try to leave them wanting more