Intro: Why I Am the Way That I Am... (Live)

(spoken)
So, for those of you who are related to me, or who are friends with me, or have seen my shows before, you may know some of these stories. But I feel like, for the new people, it's important for you to understand a little bit about my backstory so that you can understand why I am the way that I am. (Audience laughs.) So, I grew up in New Jersey, obsessed with musical theater. (Audience cheers.) Shout out to New Jersey: one guy. (Audience laughs.) Jersey in the house: one person. (Audience reacts.) Two people. (Audience reacts.) Three. Guys, this is not an auction! (Audience laughs.) There is no prize. (Audience laughs.) So, anyway. So, I grew up totally obsessed with musical theater. And, here are are some stories. I could sing the entire score of Stephen Sondheim's Follies by the time I was eleven years old. (Audience laughs.) It makes you extremely popular with the other children. (Audience laughs.) Nope. When I was in high-school, and all of my friends were dressing up for Halloween like slutty kittens, I dressed up like Fosca from Stephen Sondheim's Passion. (Audience laughs.) I'd be like, ding dong, "I do not read to think." (Audience laughs.) "No, thank you. No, thank you." (Audience laughs.) Also, I was trick-or-treating for UNICEF, so I was like, "oh, I don't need sugar." And they were like, "you're fourteen, maybe you should be at a party, instead of trick-or-treating by yourself. You weirdo." (Audience laughs.) And, this is probably the most telling story, but when I was nine years old I sobbed on the bus the entire way home because nobody else in my class knew who Rosemary Clooney was. (Audience laughs.) I was like a forty-five-year-old gay man in a little girl's body. (Audience laughs.) But part of the reason why I loved musical theater so much is because when I turned on the radio, I didn't hear any voice that sounded like mine. It was all pop and rock. It's even more so now pop and rock and listen, I love some belting. Love to listen to belting, I love trying to belt. But I feel like, are we gonna be belted off the face of the Earth? (Audience laughs.) Is there just gonna be like, a soprano museum, where it's like, "once upon a time, there was a thing called head voice." And it's gonna be like- (Audience laughs.) It's gonna be like, like an image of Barbara Cook, like (sings) and little kids are like, "nooo!" (Audience laughs.) "No! What is that foreign sound, mother?" (Audience laughs.) There's just gonna be like, and island where they send Melissa Errico and Kelli O'Hara and Audra McDonald, where they just like, drink out of coconuts and sing "Glitter and Be Gay" at each other. (Audience laughs.) Soprano Isle. (Audience laughs.) So, anyway, this is a tribute to my favorite folk/pop/rock soprano, Joni Mitchell.