The Statues

Closing time on Saturday it was dark
Me and Uncle Samuel were lying in the park
Toes towards the moonlight, noses in the flower beds
But we know that what we saw we saw
She was naked, she was cast in bronze, in bronze
Standing in the lake amidst the corporation swans
He was millstone grit, he was Sir Robert Walpole
And we know that what we heard we heard

Lady is the water cold tonight
Or does the silky moonlight warm your heart to me
Or must I hanker for a hundred years again
And never-endingly gaze upon your flanks, your face?
Well, me and my Uncle Sam, oh Constable
Well, we were right on her side
Poor darling, she was shy and she had her pride
And nowhere to hide

We were there, we saw the aged sire
Shaking with a century of petrified desire
Climbing from his pedestal all stiff and sooty
And we know that what we saw we saw
He began to tremble and to sway-ay-ay
We were drunk as penguins but we saw him clear as day
Clumping to the water's edge, Sir Robert Walpole
And we know that what we heard, we heard

Lady is the water cold tonight
Is it the milky moonlight warms my heart to you
Well let the devil take the park attendant first
My heart may burst, so I'm not waiting any longer, lady
Me and my Uncle Sam, Inspector
well, then we both got to our feet
Poor darling she was sweet and not very old
And awfully cold

We rolled up our sleeves, we got to work
Went for him like buffaloes, like windmills gone berserk
He fought like a tiger, we've got the scars to prove it
And we know that what we've got we've got
We hung on like death, we did our best
He was big and gritty and he fought like one possessed
He was much too good for us, was Robert Walpole
He put us down and out and he strode on

Lady was the water cold last night
Was it the creamy, dreamy moonlight warmed your heart
Oh little nymph, we both did what we could
But it's so strange, you're infinitely changed today
Well, me and my Uncle Sam, your Worship
Well, we both feel something's not right
Today she wears a smile, her face is alight
And her eyes are bright
Ever so bright
Awfully bright