Jumble Sale

My love life was as humble as my features when I stumbled
On the jumble sale. Unbelievable,
The things that you can find there, they've got stuff of every kind there
At the jumble sale
I was down and out, I'd nowhere else to go
I'd sown my oats, I'd flung my fling
The parish hall was all lit up, its doors were wide
I poked my nose inside
Before I'd time to hide
The vicar asked me in

Romance perchance prevails
At humdrum jumble sales

With a jaded eye I eyed the faded piles of lumber
Of the jumble sale, rough and tumble sale
Where ladies of the village fight like Visigoths for pillage
Dear old jumble sale
But behind the cut glass, brass and pewter pots
The plaster pussy cats, the china gnomes
I saw a girl, a wild eyed butterfly
Juno-esque but shy
And just the thing for my,
For my mantelpiece at home

Chick of the bric-a-brac
Pick of the vicar's knick-knacks

With a pounding pulse I skulked around the bulky counters
Of the jumble sale, fumbling at bundles
Of those long-departed trousers, old pyjama-tops and blouses
Found at jumble sales
I'd not got the savoir-faire, the flair,
I hardly dare look over at her stand
But with determination which defies belief
All set to come to grief
I grit my snaggle teeth
And I took her by the hand

One bob per objet d'art
Gratis and carte blanche my heart.

Iacta was my alea, my chips were down and numbered
At the jumble sale. But suddenly my tongue tied,
I just burbled, I just bumbled, I was sure my chance had crumbled
At the jumble sale
I just stood there in a funk, a dumbstruck booboo
Gawping at her pretty bibelots
But then she smiled, not much, but I knew then
I'd see her lips again,
Her bijoux and her gems
And her precious curios

Perchance romance prevails,
So come to some humdrum jumble sales
Jumble sales
Come to some crummy jumble sales