The Standard Metric System

("So, anyway like I was saying, I mean, it was- oh)
Ahem, 'The Standard Metric System', a song, by Logan Whitehurst
(Yeah, yeah!)
[Clapping]

The Standard Metric System measures distances and weights
For mass and volume, length and height it's used to calculate
Compared to standard U.S. measures one can plainly see
The metric system's blunt efficiency

Yard vs. meter, quart vs. liter
The pound squares off against the kilogram, you see
A decimal equation defines the U.S. nation
As fools afraid to change their terminology

The world has the kilometer
And we have got our mile
The time has come to face the facts
And face them with a smile
So if those foreign weirdos try to ask us to conform
We'll blow their stupid countries all to hell

(Very good, very good!)
(Exceptional!)
(It's so true!)
(I know!)