The Sailor Who Went Insane

Good Morning, I have a story to tell
It is a tale of great tragedy, of fear, of madness!
Of the suffering and seemingly endless torture that one poor helpless man was me- to-
(Security? Security? Him, him right over there, yes thank you, yes.)

Anyway now, seemingly endless- ENDLESS TOR- ENDLESS TORTURE, that one poor helpless man was made to endure
This my friends, is the tale of the Insane Sailor... and his harrowing journey into the deepest, darkest, dankest, most fowl smelling spider-infested creepy, old, disgusting, horrid, vile, wretched-
[Glass breaking]
Oh dear, that was mine. I suppose we better start the song then

The Sailor Who Went Insane
The Sailor Who Went Insane
Two long years adrift on the sea
Somewhere I surely would rather not be

His accordion his only companion
He would often call it D'Artagnan
These two Musketeers, alone for two years
Adrift in a boat on the sea

At once, an island on the horizon
"Land ho!" He cried
Jumped in the water and swam for the shore
Never to speak to D'Artagnan no more

The Sailor Who Went Insane (doopa-dee-pa-dee)
The Sailor Who Went Insane (da-da-dum)
Two long years adrift on the sea
Somewhere I surely rather not be

Uh, really, I think there was a bit too much of a setup for that one