The Real Ringo

[Spoken Intro]
I'm the real Ringo, born east of Pecos and west of Abilene. See, my folks've been travelling in an auto trailer on Route 80, West Texas, the day I was born. No-one ridin' knows exactly where. You see, the crib I was in slipped out the back door of our trailer. I never saw my real parents again. Yeah, I've led a mighty rough-and-tumble life

[Chorus]
I'm the real Ringo
Born east of Pecos
And west of Abilene

[Spoken]
No man dare fool me. I love 'em all. Yeah, I love every boy's wife and every boy's girlfriend. I'm the real Ringo. Born east of Pecos and west of Abilene. If a man swings at me first, he'll never come up again. That makes me mad. When I land my blow, he'll be prayin' to be born again

[Chorus]
I'm the real Ringo
Born east of Pecos
And west of Abilene

[Spoken]
No man was as cool if their brains were passed out would pulled a gun out on Ringo. No man's born that dumb. I'm the fastest drawer in the land. Any man reaching for a six-shooter in my sight, I'll have him pushing up daisies in no-time flat. Hahahahaha! Whoo-wee! Hoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo-wee!
I'm the real Ringo, born east of Pecos and west of Abilene
Word got to me about one of the poor folks I helped out, and Sheriff Alabama Bonanza, the meanest man alive, was looking for me. You see, my horse tumbled over [a] stone one night, and there I found a sack of money. It was a long, dry, hot summer. Camel were dyin', and people were starvin'. When word got out that Ringo was helping all the poor folks, the Sheriff got it in his fat head, that I robbed the town bank

[Chorus]
I'm the real Ringo
Born east of Pecos
And west of Abilene

[Spoken]
That Sheriff, Alabama Bonanza, put out the word that the day would soon come when I'd be lookin' down his gun barrel. Funny thing, he was right. The night I was lookin' down his gun barrel, the fool didn't even know it. He was starin' up into my sleeping blanket, on a big spring oak tree. The Sheriff didn't know I trained myself to sleep with one eye wide open, hahahaha! Whoo-wee! He cocked his gun, and with my hand on my gun, under my hat, I shot his six-shooter from out of his hand. Whoo-wee! That's the last time anybody's sneaked up on Ringo

[Chorus]
I'm the real Ringo
Born east of Pecos
And west of Abilene