Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast & Rachel Bloom & Erick Lopez & Scott Michael Foster & Danny Jolles & David Hull & Pete Gardner & Donna Lynne Champlin & Vella Lovell & Gabrielle Ruiz
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast & Rachel Bloom & Gabrielle Ruiz & Donna Lynne Champlin & Vella Lovell
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast & Rachel Bloom
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast & Kabir Akhtar & Vincent Rodriguez III
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast & Rachel Bloom & Scott Michael Foster
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast & Michael McMillian
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast & Rachel Bloom
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast & Vella Lovell
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast & Scott Michael Foster
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast & Scott Michael Foster
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast & Rachel Bloom
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast & Josh Groban
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast & Rachel Bloom
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast & &
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast & Rachel Bloom
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast & Connie Jackson & Gabrielle Ruiz
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast & & & Donna Lynne Champlin
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast & & Rachel Bloom
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast & Pete Gardner
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast & Pete Gardner
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast & Amy Hill
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast & Erick Lopez & Gabrielle Ruiz & Vella Lovell & Pete Gardner & David Hull & Scott Michael Foster & Vincent Rodriguez III & Donna Lynne Champlin & Rachel Bloom
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast & Scott Michael Foster & David Hull & Vincent Rodriguez III
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast & Pete Gardner & Rachel Bloom
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast & Scott Michael Foster & Rachel Bloom
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast & Michael Hyatt
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast & Michael Hyatt
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast & Rachel Bloom
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast & Gabrielle Ruiz & Vella Lovell & Donna Lynne Champlin & Rachel Bloom
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast & Vella Lovell & Gabrielle Ruiz & Donna Lynne Champlin & Rachel Bloom
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast &
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast & Rachel Bloom
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast & Donna Lynne Champlin
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast & Scott Michael Foster & Rachel Bloom
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast & Scott Michael Foster
With Heather (Vella Lovell) about to give birth in “Nathaniel Is Irrelevant,” Paula (Donna Lynne Champlin) sings her this spectacularly graphic and grotesque song about the glories of childbirth. Heather is completely freaked out by the lyrics.
Of all the mystery and wonder
And beauty on this earth
Nothing can compare to
The miracle of birth
Well your cervix has been closed
And plugged with mucus
But soon that viscous plug
Will be discharged
It’s called ‘bloody show.’
And explosive diarrhea
Means that labor's drawing nearer
And those sharp painful contractions
Cause your cervix to enlarge
Beautiful!
Then you race your ass
Over to the hospital
Where they’ll strap you in
For the hell ride of your life
It’s what your body’s made for
You’ll soon be in so much pain
That you’ll probably exclaim
"Please just kill me now
Doctor, doula, or midwife!"
Tear, tear, tear
Goes your vagina!
Never will it be
Its cute little self again
But the good news is
If you have a few more kids
The rest will basically
Plop right out
After hours and hours
Of utter torture
You may poop yourself and/or
Throw up as you bear down
Cause you’re a goddess!
And though you’ve never
Been this tired—Wait!
Here comes the ring of fire
That’s your vagina bursting
Into flames as the head
Starts to crown
Burn, burn, burn
Goes your vagina!
And you’ll curse and scream
Until you hear a cry!
It’s your baby!
And oops! There it went-a
That was the placenta
Which you must expel
Or you will surely die!
When it’s all over they place
The baby on your breast
You may be happy for a moment
But then for months you’ll be depressed
'Cause you’ve wrecked your life and body
You’ll think "What’s it really worth?"
All that for the miracle of birth!
The Miracle of Birth was written by Rachel Bloom & Adam Schlesinger & Jack Dolgen & Aline Brosh McKenna.
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast released The Miracle of Birth on Fri Feb 16 2018.