The M.O.I. Anti-Smut Loyalty Oath

George Duke—keyboards, vocal
Ian Underwood—vocal
Aynsley Dunbar—drums, vocal

Voice #1: Frank, the girls are comin' to get ya
FZ: Great . . .

Emcee: Frank Zappa, Mothers Of Invention, hey!

Girl #1: Frank! Sign us, please! Come on, please!
Guy #1: Hi, man!
Girl #1: Don't touch, I gotta get his autograph
Girl #2: Hey Frank
Guy #2: Frank!
Mother: Testing, 1-2-3-4, testing
Guy #3: Far fuckin' out!
Girl #3: Wowie Zowie
Aynsley: This is a test
Mother: Oh, my hair is getting good in the back

FZ: Okay, listen, this is very important, okay? Your attention please. An important public announcement: It is necessary for me to tell you at this point that there is a clause in our contract here tonight that says if anything nasty happens on stage, terrible things happen to us, so!
Audience: Boooo! Boooo!
FZ: We just, we just want to assure you that our only interest here is doing a swell job for you.
Audience: Yay!
FZ: However! It is also necessary to prove our good intentions before we begin by reciting our MOTHERS OF INVENTION ANTI-SMUT LOYALTY OATH.
Audience: Yeay! Yeah!
FZ: If the members of our rocking teen combo will please repeat after me:

I, Frank
(I, Jeff Simmons/Mark Volman/Howard Kaylan/Ian Underwood/George Duke/Aynsley Dunbar)
Do hereby solemnly swear
(Do hereby solemnly swear)
In accordance with the regulations in the contract with this here rock & roll engagement
(In accordance with regulations in the contract of this here rock & roll engagement)
And the imbecilic laws of the state of Florida
(And the IMBECILIC laws of the state of Florida)
And respective regulations perpetrated by rednecks everywhere
(And respective regulations perpetrated by REDNECKS EVERYWHERE)
DO HEREBY SOLEMNLY SWEAR
(DO HEREBY SOLEMNLY SWEAR)
UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES
(UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES)
TO REVEAL MY TUBE
(TO REVEAL MY TUBE)
WAD
(WAD)
DINGUS
(DINGUS)
WEE-WEE
(WEE-WEE)
AND/OR PENIS ANY PLACE ON THIS STAGE.
(AND/OR PENIS ANY PLACE ON THIS STAGE.)
This does not include private showings in the motel room however.
(This does not include private showings in the motel room, which is the Ramada Inn.)